The Exchange, March 2010

the Exchange

Issue 17(1), March 2010

In this issue:


Concision: the art of linguistic liposuction

"Nellie has:

  • High blood pressure.
  • Cataracts and glaucoma.
  • Pain in her left hip, knee, and foot."

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Editorial: Ten years of editorializing

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Book Review: Undergraduate Writing in Psychology

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Book review: Together with Technology

Swarts, J. 2008. Together with Technology: Writing Review, Enculturation, and Technological Mediation. Baywood Publishing Company, Amityville, NY. [ISBN 978-0-89503-362-8. 178 p., including index. $44.95 USD.]

Previously published in Technical Communication 56(1):81-82, February 2009.

Together with Technology argues that technology can increase the quality of writing review within organizations by replacing the traditional model of hardcopy assessment with “textual replay”. Like instant replay on television, textual replay allows the reviewer and the writer to revisit the composing process itself and not just the semi-finished draft. This helps the reviewer understand the writer’s process in creating the draft, as well as the draft itself, and provides two major benefits: the reviewer can help the writer understand the rhetorical reasons for the organization’s writing requirements, and the writer can influence those requirements with insights that would otherwise be obscured by the fixed review method.

Swarts reports on studies he conducted comparing the classical artifact-based method of review against the practice-based approach. He divided organizations into two groups: practice-oriented, where writing is the primary output or product (newspaper, media relations), and artifact-oriented (donor relations, engineering agency), where writing is secondary. He then installed Camtasia software on subjects’ PCs to capture screenshots of the draft text at short intervals; at the end of the process, the sequence could be reviewed, stopped, rewound, and paused, providing opportunity for collaborative assessment by the reviewer and the writer of the writing process as well as the product.

Swarts discovered that in both practice-oriented and artifact-oriented organizations, textual replay increases writer participation, encourages the reviewer to facilitate rather than direct changes, and results in interactive, mutually instructive discussion between writer and reviewer. The reviewer can participate in the earliest stages of development, and the writer can more clearly understand what the organization requirements are, and why. Each party can therefore contribute to the creation of a higher-quality final product. Much of Swarts’s book provides evidence in support of this argument: screenshots of textual replay, explanations of statistical methods, and graphs illustrating the contrast between textual revision and textual replay. Throughout, Swarts also makes the point that writing review demonstrates the need for organizations to involve individuals more dynamically in the development of their “cognitive architecture”, and conversely for individuals to become enculturated more efficiently into the organizational values embodied in that architecture.

Although promising, textual replay has its problems. The software can capture and replay textual development but prevents direct editing. Writer and reviewer must switch between the replay text in one medium and draft text in another, a cumbersome and time-consuming process. The video files are too large for efficient network transport, reducing their usability. And replay can lock writer and reviewer into a purely process perspective, undercutting the value of also considering the text as an artifact. Of these, Swarts says, the “most pressing problem” is that “textual replay is not an editable medium” (p. 147). Improvements in technology suggested by Swarts can theoretically overcome these issues.

Swarts provides persuasive evidence to support his thesis, but the book isn’t easy to read. The style is repetitive, the vocabulary excessively abstract, the tone dry, and the argument at times overly complex for the content. Organization could be improved by putting the issue very simply and concisely in the introductory chapter, then describing how the software works, and finally getting into the analytical discussion. This would ground the somewhat theoretical and jargonish discussion in a concrete referent easier for the untutored reader to follow. As presently organized, the text assumes a fairly specialized audience who are already conversant with the problems and the jargon, a characteristic probably reflecting the book’s origin in Swarts’s dissertation (cited in the bibliography). Some reorganization and simplification would have enabled Swarts to retain the academic focus of the text while extending its appeal. The document design is fairly basic but useful, the glossary helpful, and the index thorough. The book is also noticeably and unfortunately marred by at least 11 copyediting mistakes.

Although the book would have more appeal if it were shorter and the style simpler, overall Together with Technology does successfully argue that textual replay improves the quality of mediated texts in both artifact- and practice-oriented organizations. Swarts’s account has motivated me, as an instructor, to investigate the Camtasia software and to consider its pedagogical possibilities. It would be interesting to see a how-to guide aimed at teachers of technical writing as a sequel to Swarts’s book. Bottom line: recommended for readers, academic or professional, willing to endure stylistic awkwardness and repetitiveness to find a more systematic way to discuss process in writing and interested in applying this method in their own environments.

Donald R. Riccomini () is a member of STC and a lecturer in English at Santa Clara University, where he specializes in teaching engineering and technical communications. He previously spent 23 years in high technology as a technical writer, engineer, and manager in semiconductors, instrumentation, and server development.

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Fun on the Web

Scientific Peer Review, ca. 1945

Although this is possibly the single most parodied film clip on the Web, it’s still funny in this new context, particularly if you work with journal peer reviews. Caution: Strong language.

Zero-g without space travel

Can’t afford the $20 million required to buy a tour of the International Space Station? For just over $5000, you can try zero g here on Earth. Caution for the faint of stomach: There’s a reason why the astronaut trainees refer to these flights as “the vomet comet”.

MRI scanner surprises

Scientists often find surprises, and this example is one of the better ones. My pet hypothesis is that what the scientists were actually seeing is normal neural activity in the visual cortex, which continues for some time after death. Any thoughts from neurologists in the audience?

A response to relativism

Tim Minchin reports an experience that many of us have shared, namely trying to maintain a polite veneer in the face of irrationality. Caution: potentially offensive language. (I found nothing offensive, but some people with humorless bosses may try watching this at work.)

Who says science isn’t funny?

There are a great many funny science jokes out there. Here’s one collection of assorted physics and science jokes.

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Parting thoughts

“The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.”—John Kenneth Galbraith

“Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.”—Al Franken

“Westheimer’s discovery: A couple of months in the laboratory can save a couple of hours in the library.”—Frank H. Westheimer, chemistry professor

“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field.”—Niels Bohr

“My hopes, and those of any scientist, are only worth considering as potential biases that can block our understanding of nature’s factuality.”—Stephen Jay Gould, The reversal of Hallucigenia

“True science is distinctively the study of useless things. For the useful things will get studied without the aid of scientific men. To employ these rare minds on such work is like running a steam engine by burning diamonds.”—Charles Sanders Peirce

“Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.”—Wernher von Braun, rocket engineer (1912-1977)

“The aims of scientific thought are to see the general in the particular and the eternal in the transitory.”—Alfred North Whitehead

“It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.”
—Arthur Conan Doyle, physician and writer (1859-1930)

“What we call ‘language’ is, in fact, a formal collective of imprecise verbal signals that serve as oblique coefficients of intuitive states wedded to analytical and discursive figurations of thought, and secondarily referential to perceived experience. This is why communication is so difficult.”—Sandra Boynton, Don’t let the turkeys get you down

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)”—Ambrose Bierce

“In mathematics you don’t understand things. You just get used to them.”—Johann von Neumann

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